I became a dad more abruptly than most. After illness and much too early deaths in my family, two pre-teen girls suddenly called my home theirs. And while I was always a close part of my nieces’ young lives, I rather abruptly made the transition from the fun uncle to the (occasionally) boring dad full of rules and guidance.
I’ve spent a lifetime as an entrepreneur, starting a company in high school and spending every day of the next 30 years building, funding and mentoring many startups. I’ve enjoyed success, and failed more times than I remember.
But without a doubt the most rewarding — and challenging — startup of my life has been my family and the young women they are becoming. Now, many years have passed, and they will venture out into a world of their own soon.
I have no idea if they will be entrepreneurs like me and help start new businesses and organizations, or be part of startup teams. And frankly it doesn’t really matter. Those are their choices to make. But I do hope they’re learning to be entrepreneurial in their world view, because it will make them better at whatever life’s work they choose, and it will make them better people.
The characteristics I’ve seen over and again among the best entrepreneurs I have known, and the traits that I’ve seen that help startup teams succeed, have much in common. I think these lessons matter regardless of what path you take in life.
I want my kids to be intellectually curious. To be helpful, courageous and reach beyond their comfort zone. I want them to be driven, to have passion that makes them work hard and love doing so. I want them to define their own success and achieve it. I want them to enjoy and be happy with the life of their own making.
So here’s an open letter to my kids:
Most of this should ring familiar, even if we never said it as plainly. Some of these are lessons I’ve learned from watching you grow. And while these are drawn from deep experience and observation, I’m still figuring all of this out myself. I’m constantly learning my own lessons, making mistakes, and being reminded of the importance of these values.
Be kind.
Whether building a company or building a life, be motivated by cheerful service to others. It’s not just about profit — or self-gain. Collaborate and help other people get ahead along your journey. Be empathetic, and help other people succeed. Your reputation will become your most leveragable asset, and pay dividends you will need some day.
Wander with purpose.
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